pursuitofdeath: (pic#12611815)
太宰治 [ Osamu Dazai ] ([personal profile] pursuitofdeath) wrote in [community profile] cartesianism 2018-11-04 03:40 am (UTC)

CW: survivor’s guilt and stupid ass reasoning

[Is he trying to make some excuse so that Dazai won’t feel hurt? It won’t work in that regard in the slightest. Dazai feels like his chest is being ripped apart from the inside. His face hurts from holding in a wave of emotion that tries to come out. It always comes back to this. Even despite it all he still— he can’t do anything.]

...I wish I could be what you need.

[That someone like him could be worth the same as what those Oda’s lost had.]

If it could have been me and not them—

[To think. That he’d have wanted to live enough to feel survivor’s guilt on top of all the other messed up things running through his head.]

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