cartesianism | Epilogue

Epilogue

Welcome to Cartesio!

You open your eyes and see the ceiling of the lodge. There is no real sensation of having slept, but you're still feeling rested. Sitting up, you can see that the building around you is in ruins. Dust and dirt dominate your environment. Around you, there are familiar people - some of them you've been with up until now, some of them you have been brutally forced to part with weeks ago. They all look alright, a little confusion aside.

From a corner of the room, you can hear the soft whirring of a machine. Upon examination, you can see that it's 3D-printing more gelatinous bodies like you've seen earlier today. Every body that is dispensed from the machine is a safe haven for another mind from the simulation, another mind to join your ranks as real people.

After you've adjusted to the new situation and left the lodge, you find yourself greeted with perfect sunshine. There's a town welcoming you, friendly and peaceful. Though it is more modern than what you are used to, there is no mistaking it.

Cartesio, Nevada, welcomes you.

You're new people, in a new world. Every chance it has to offer is open for you.

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[She pauses for a moment, making eye contact.]

Before I tell you, I want to make sure you know I'm not kidding about the last thing.

I know you're not kidding.

[It's just.. not something he fully believes. There's a difference, you see. He makes eye contact as well.]

I wouldn't take any of what I did back in the end, so.. it just doesn't really matter. That's all.

Right, but... Whether or not you realize that matters to me.

[She sighs.]

I don't know. How proud can you really be of the most corruptible person here?

[There's a bit of a headshake at that, but a faint smile too. He doesn't fully believe that at face value, though it doesbug him if he thinks about it for too long.]

Well. He always knew I was stubborn, I guess.

[A beat.]

So you were saying...?

You know that he's always been full of shit, right? He can call you enriched all he wants, but you never killed everyone. You did everything you could to keep everyone safe, more than almost anyone here. So... Don't listen to that asshole, okay?

[She sighs.]

...I don't know if it's right of me to do it to her, either.

I'm not really. It's just... weird.

[For various reasons, but that's neither here nor there for now.]

Your mom, right?

...Yeah, my mom.

[She takes a breath, running a hand through her hair.]

It's kind of... I mean, it's not funny, but it's like, I've spent most of my life wishing I could get away from her. It should be easy.

[And yet...]

[Quiet for a moment.]

Feelings about family get complicated. I know what you mean.

[In contrast to his silence, she's quick to speak, as if the silence has her anxious somehow. The words out of her mouth are just as stressed.]

...It's not like she even wanted the life she had before this place. That'd only get worse here, right?

[Concern is immediate as he looks at her, even if it takes him another moment to decide what to say to that.]

I don't know. [The honest answer. Neither of them really know what this world is like in the end. But:] It'll probably be difficult to adjust to a brand new place starting from nothing.

[A beat.]

....It depends on what you want to do.

Yeah, well. She's not really the adjusting sort. She's basically the opposite of that.

[She takes a breath.]

I don't know. It sounds stupid, but - even if she never really cared about me, I always kind of hoped that one day she would, you know? Giving up that chance is just... [She trails off.] But maybe it's enough that the other version of myself or whatever still does.

[His reply is quick.]

That's not stupid at all, Natalie. You deserve a whole lot better.

[Honestly? He hates it. He hates that she has to feel unwanted and unloved when there's just so much good about her. But there's a pause, a sigh as he tries to let some of the force behind his tone go.]

...But I get it. She's your mom, after all. You can't help wishing it could be different. I did the same, even when I was mad that mine left me, you know?

[His hand tightens a little around hers.]

What I'm trying to say is that maybe you should focus on being the person that makes you happy, rather than the person you think would make your mom happy.

...Thanks.

[As is typical for the two of them, her response is shorter, but just as sincere.]

Maybe we can both find something that makes us happy now.

You don't have to thank me for pointing out the truth, you know.

[But the next part of that gets a bit of a pause. She asked him weeks ago what would make him happy here, and parts of that got fulfilled, other parts... not so much, and right now it's hard to fathom what being happy really even looks like.]

....What would make you happy?

...Staying with you.

[She says, trying to ignore the color creeping into her face.]

God, that was sappy. I can't believe I actually just said that.

[There's a moment where his expression is pure incredulity, but then he has to fight to keep a laugh in check. It's not funny, it's just...feels like another out of body experience. But it's a pleasant one.]

You can take it back if you want.

...No. I think I'll stick with it.

[And as if to cement that point - she moves forward slightly to kiss him.]

[It takes him a second to respond to this. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the printer's right there, still whirring along and slowly spitting out humanoid shapes that has him a little surprised by the "where" of all this, but... it's only a second and then he kisses back.

Maybe there's no real need to overthink and make things complicated because they can just figure this out together.]

[Is that a golf clap from somewhere to the side?

That is a golf clap.]

[Well, that was nice for about five seconds. Now she's pretty hurriedly pushing herself away from him immediately, going red.]

—Shut up!

[Natalie, she didn't say anything??]

[Cue acting like he just touched a fucking electric fence.]

Have you just been watching this entire time?!

[elbows Nine]

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cw suicidal ideation

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