week 4 afterparty

[odasaku]

[ well, that was definitely A Trial.

however, oda understands that everyone must be feeling a little heavy, considering the death of someone like jughead and whatever bullshit dazai said earlier.

so, at everyone's door is a note that says the following:

If you don't want to be alone, come to the diner.

There's food.

oda himself is at the diner, although there's no food on his table, nor is he being a very good host of a party. he's just sitting alone at a table next to a window, staring out of it in deep thought. ]

Comments

[quickpersuader]

[Dazai, this keeps shifting...]

Then those who can't be saved are those who can't find happiness?

[pursuitofdeath]

[...]

...that’s my truth, at least.

[quickpersuader]

[Kino tilts her head down in thought.]

So... You save others by making them happy? Or saving their lives?

Or both?

[It's such a vague concept...]

[pursuitofdeath]

...someone who can't identify his own happiness... probably isn't capable of making others happy.

Wouldn't you think?

All I can do is protect them so that they can find that themselves.

[quickpersuader]

That sounds like a lie.

[Kino becomes blunt.]

There's all kinds of ways someone can make others happy without knowing a thing about them. Why would you need to know what happiness is to do that?

[pursuitofdeath]

[Called out in one shot...]

...if that's the case than maybe it's easier. Without my own feelings to put to it, I should be able to focus on their own, right...?

[...which brings us to the heart of it.]

[quickpersuader]

You were going to put your own feelings over ours when you tried to save us from being chosen as executioner.

[There is no anger, no judgment. Just the even tone of stated fact.]

[pursuitofdeath]

...it’s very strange. My behavior today wasn’t logical at all.

[Having feelings isn’t. He doesn’t know how. And despite his intellect it took him this long to see it...]

Those were... my feelings?

[....]

[quickpersuader]

[Oh, Dazai.]

...Yes, I think it must be.

[pursuitofdeath]

That is... a problem.

[Sorry but having a feeling is the most difficult thing that could have happened to him. It’s bad??? It’s defin causing trouble.]

[quickpersuader]

Isn't that what you wanted?

[pursuitofdeath]

I... yes. I think so?

...it’s complicated.

I once tried to find that part of myself but— that was a long time ago. A lot has changed.

[Is he sure of anything he’s saying right now? No.]

[quickpersuader]

But it sounds like you've found it now.