cartesianism | Week 2

Week 2 - after trial

[everyone is probably more than a little stunned over what has been going on. while it is true that the Sergeant told them all this would happen, it's different to have to witness it with one's own eyes. while Nine is led away, and the townspeople leave the court, it is up to the visitors to decide how to move forward. do they talk among themselves? do they reflect on the events that took place alone? one thing that is certain is that the Sergeant got his way this week. will he continue to force them to keep picking each other off in the weeks that come? only time will tell.

this isn't really an after party. it's too sad, but perhaps many people will take comfort in the fact that they are not alone. either mingle at the motel, or somewhere else in town, or even visit Nine in his cell. it's up to you as to how you will spend the rest of this afternoon]

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[Another moment of silence, as Millium has to sort through what it is she does want right now.]

...I mean. I'd... I'd take a hug, but I dunno if you're the kinda person who's good with giving those.

[For as obnoxious as she can be, she does at least seem to care about Natalie's boundaries when it matters.]

[It feels ridiculous to her in this circumstance, the immediate aversion to the idea of physical contact. For all she's going to chide herself for it in a moment, though, her instinctive answer is—]

You'd probably be better off asking someone else. I'm not really good at - you know.

[A small pause, and then:]

Sorry.

Yeah, I kinda figured that'd be the case.

[At least she doesn't sound too upset by it.]

...Are you mad at him, too? Nine, I mean.

[There's practically no hesitation before she nods.]

Of course I am. He murdered someone, anyone who isn't mad at him is either too apathetic or too forgiving.

Well, yeah... that's obvious, don'cha think?

But I mean, for more than that.

[A shaky breath.]

I just can't see... even if everyone else in Class VII were gone, I can't imagine any of them ever being okay with me doing that, especially if it was for them, you know?

...Yeah, I get it. If anyone ever said they were doing something like that for me, I'd never speak to them again.

[It's punctuated by a small nod.]

Right. No matter how much I missed them or anything else.

...I mean. Maybe they'd forgive me? Kind of? But that's not a risk I wanna take here.

[She flops back against the tree, kicking at the dirt a little.]

N' besides... even if you guys aren't them... doing something like that, just because it's scary and lonely, doesn't that basically say to you guys that you aren't worth anything?

Even if anyone would forgive me for doing something like that, I wouldn't deserve that forgiveness.

[Carefully, she takes a seat next to Millium, back braced against the tree as she glances down at her hands.]

How so?

[There are a couple ways she could mean that, and Natalie's curious to hear which it is.]

Maybe. All I know is we forgave Crow, and we thought he really had killed Gramps. So it would be wrong of me to forgive him and then not at least try for other people, but...

Even I know there's a difference between killing a guy just 'cause he was there n' killing Gramps.

[Millium may have been blind to the damage Osborne's policies wrought at one point, but she's witnessed too much of the fallout firsthand now to deny that the man's ruined lives. He ruined lives, and she helped.

If— no, when she gets back, she will continue helping him do just that.]

I mean... I know he didn't know us nearly as well, but like... wanting to die so bad he'd even do that, he's basically just saying "you guys don't matter to me."

That's how it feels, anyway.

You really forgave someone who tried to kill someone you've known for ages that easily?

[She can't imagine doing something like that. For her, grudges are almost a form of protecting herself.

Regardless, what Millium says next seems to strike a chord with her; she has to pause for a moment before speaking.]

...Yeah. I guess that's a good point. He's... He should have cared more. About himself, not just us.

Aha... you gotta understand, Gramps is... well. [She curls in a little upon herself.] He's the kinda guy who gets what he wants, and doesn't really care who's in his way on the way there. So he's ruined a whole lotta things for a whole lotta people...

I dunno exactly what he did to Crow. Somethin' happened when Gramps annexed the Jurai SEZ, that's all the intel I ever got. But the way things tend to go with Gramps, wouldn't be surprised to hear just about anything...

[Ever get the feeling "Gramps" is not a good guy?]

...yeah. [She's quieter now.] And I guess... I just wish he'd cared enough about either to let me know? He... he reminded me a lot of the good parts of Crow.

And now the bad parts, too, I guess...

I mean, he sounds pretty awful, but... I don't know. Whatever he did to this Crow person, murder isn't really a great solution, is it?

[In her opinion, at least. She shifts, though, uncomfortable.]

I mean, apparently it was a spur of the moment thing, which... Seems even worse, kind of. He should've taken five seconds to think about it, and if he was going to confess, he could have done it at the beginning of the trial.

Just 'cause I get it doesn't mean I think it's the right answer, either. But even if I think it was wrong, it doesn't mean I don't think he could've been the person we all thought he was for real if we could've brought him back, y'know?

But like I said, it's different with Gramps. Gramps, even if it's wrong, at least it kinda makes sense. He's got a lot of power, n' that really scares some people who don't like how he uses it. S'not right, but it is.

Moloch... Moloch was just there. He didn't do anything wrong at all.

[She nods along with Natalie's assessment, though.]

Yeah. I just... I don't like being lied to.

[She hears her out, but...]

That's the part where I think you're still being a little too forgiving. Sorry. But... You're right about Moloch. It was fucked up, what happened to him.

[A sigh, as she glances down at the ground.]

You and me both, kid.

Guess we gotta agree to disagree, then. ...S'not like it matters anymore, anyway. Since he's dead now, n' all.

[Rest in peace with a giant hole through you, Crow Armbrust.]

And I guess Nine will be soon, too. ...Doesn't feel a whole lot like justice either way.

[She gives a soft huff, bumping her head lightly against the tree trunk as she glances upwards.]

At least we can agree on the fact that this definitely isn't justice.

...yeah. Nothing about this is right at all.

I just wish I knew what to do.

[She pauses, turning over possibilities in her head, before:]

I think all we can do right now is learn as much as we can about this place and the Sergeant. You're a spy, right? You should be good at that.