Week 2 - after trial

[relieable]

[everyone is probably more than a little stunned over what has been going on. while it is true that the Sergeant told them all this would happen, it's different to have to witness it with one's own eyes. while Nine is led away, and the townspeople leave the court, it is up to the visitors to decide how to move forward. do they talk among themselves? do they reflect on the events that took place alone? one thing that is certain is that the Sergeant got his way this week. will he continue to force them to keep picking each other off in the weeks that come? only time will tell.

this isn't really an after party. it's too sad, but perhaps many people will take comfort in the fact that they are not alone. either mingle at the motel, or somewhere else in town, or even visit Nine in his cell. it's up to you as to how you will spend the rest of this afternoon]

Comments

[doublelammy]

For us, this is the unknown, isn't it? We don't know how to be.

So to just take that n' say "welp, I don't know what to do, guess I'll just kill someone n' die..." I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

[integratedsoul]

No, me neither... In a way, I'd feel better if he'd fought for his life and his message until the very end, you know? It would make Moloch-san's death feel less pointless.

[ Cian liked Moloch they had nice conversations with each other, he was one of the people here whom she felt were stable and would provide a certain amount of security. ]

Now we just have to mourn them both...

[doublelammy]

Right? It's one thing to die for somethin' you believe in, it's another thing to just... lay down and give up.

[And she knows, because she's stared death in the face before outside of this place. And she was fine with it, then, because she believed in Class VII. Believed in the rest of her whole, and was – is – happy to lay her life down for that.]

...is that the word for it? Mourning... [If she sounds like a child just learning of a new concept, well. It's because she is.]

All I know is I feel sick and broken and I hate it.

[integratedsoul]

Yes, that's what it's called. I was a bit older than you when I first had to go through it...

[ She still remembers that vividly, the raw despair clawing at every part of her insides. Millium is even smaller than she was back then... spy, artificial human, whatever else she might be... this is just too much for her, more than she should be enduring. ]

It stops hurting quite as much after you let it out for a while.

[doublelammy]

...That's what Nine said, too. That it helps to let it out by crying and stuff...

[She sighs bitterly.]

It's hard to make sense of, y'know? That he was nice like that and then... did this. It didn't make any sense with Crow, either, and that's what I was supposed to be lookin' out for...

[integratedsoul]

It's harder than it seems to hold people back from the edge...

[ Even when you can see them standing right at the border. ]

Who is Crow?

CS2 spoilers because of course

[doublelammy]

Crow was one of our classmates at Thors. He was a nice guy, looked out for the rest of us in his own weird way n' really helped us out with our concert n' on field studies n' stuff... he was a lot like Nine.

[A pause, staring down.]

...he was also the terrorist "C." And that's why I was at Thors at all, 'cause Gramps suspected it was him, and I was there to keep an eye on him. But he hid it all real well... and even though I saw him shoot Gramps and I know we fought against him, it's still weird putting those two together.

He was our enemy. But he was our friend, too.

[...there might be something to the exclusive use of past tense here.]

[integratedsoul]

[ ... ouch, yeah. Cian stays quiet for a little moment after processing this. ]

I think... you can love people and be friends with them even if they're terrorists and even if they do things you can't support. I had a friend like that as well, once. She might mean more to me than many actually nice people ever did.

We're really making things hard on ourselves with that taste in friends, huh? Hanging on to what we love like that.

[doublelammy]

Aha... no kidding... [She sighs.] Maybe I should just... look at Nine the same way. I mean... he's gonna be dead soon, too, after all...

[. . .]

Your friend... what was she like?

[integratedsoul]

Miach was... She was beautiful and isolated... She'd only speak to me and Tuan, our other friend. When she was talking, she was always sharing facts about the cruelty of mankind and making up ways to hurt society. A rebel.

Looking back now, I think I can say what I couldn't then... Miach was a very cruel person, but she was cruel because she believed in something. I admired her. I still admire her.

Miach wanted all sorts of things... "You can kill 50.000 people just by altering a few lines of code. It's only a matter of wanting to do it." She'd say things like that. I can't agree with that. Not at all. And still... I really love Miach.

[ She trails off here, staring into the sky for a moment. Deep breaths... Talking about Miach like this, about the friendship they shared... It is always hard and it is harder after the day they just had. ]

Sorry, that got long... What I mean to say is just... I don't think it's wrong to disapprove of Nine-kun or Crow-kun and still think of them fondly.

[doublelammy]

["She was cruel because she believed in something."

That resonates with her. In its own weird way, is that not an apt descriptor for Nine and Crow, as well?]

It's okay. I don't mind if things get long... it's nice hearing about it, the things that are important to other people.

Because I... I don't really know how people are supposed to feel. All these things, they're brand new to me... and it was easier when I was with the class, you know? We could make it through anything, so long as we were together. But now... it's just me.

So I'm... I'm trying to learn, from you guys. What it is I'm supposed to be like by myself. Millium the Ironblood, she'd have an easier time here, but...

I think she died with Crow.

[integratedsoul]

[ Yeah, that... that really strikes a chord with Cian and within a moment she's back to wrapping her arms around Millium like she had done at the trial. ]

It's hard when nobody is there to tell you how to feel and act anymore... I don't know how to be just me either. Miach taught me how to be and then my society taught me how to be and just as me.... I don't really know.

You're not alone, Millium-chan. Even if we're losing someone, even if it's... really, really painful...

[ There's a tighter squeeze here, but then Cian lets go again. She shouldn't be falling apart on a child that she is supposed to support, no matter what awful things happened to them only hours earlier. No matter how much her own heart feels like it's breaking. ]

You'll be fine. You'll remember them and become a much, much better person for it.

[ Cian herself isn't sure if she believes such growth from pain to be possible... but she wishes that it is. ]

[doublelammy]

[This time, Millium can actually hug her back, and she does. She hugs back tightly, not tight enough to hurt poor Cian but enough, and lets her eyes well up and run over one more time.

It's okay, here.

When they both let go, she sniffs a little and wipes at her eyes.]

...thank you, Cian. I dunno how much of that is true, but... I guess I gotta try, right...?

[...and speaking of being a better person:]

Umm... I'm sorry about what I said about Dabi in the court room.

[Things she should probably say to Dabi, but, well. She's honestly more upset that she hurt Cian, and she's not dumb enough to have missed that.]

[integratedsoul]

[ Cian looks surprised by this apology. She honestly hadn't expected Millium to ever refer back to this incident. ]

You were upset and Dabi-san's not everyone's kind of person, I understand that.

[ Though overall naive, Cian isn't stupid enough to not realize that 'villains' and terrorists and the likes are.. pretty problematic when it comes down to it. ]

It's not something you owed me an apology for anyway.

[doublelammy]

I know that, but I know you were upset when I said it, too.

[Still, she knows what Cian's really getting at.]

I really don't ever see him or talk to him, but I'll apologize to him, too, when I do. 'Kay?

[integratedsoul]

Mhm, that sounds good.

[ Millium is such a good girl, Cian is legitimately touched by this. Apologies as a favor to society are one thing, but as a favor to her personally it just means a little bit more. ]

Thank you.

[doublelammy]

[Millium is a girl, that part of that statement is correct. The rest of it is extremely questionable.

She makes a quick "mm-mm" noise as she shakes her head no.]

Thank you. You didn't have to come find me.