Everything's getting worse. Rose Nylund and Frasier Crane murdered Jughead Jones during the event Jughead worked so hard to organize. Given some of the townspeople were in attendance, it didn't give a good impression -- if the visitors did this when trying to be good people and get along with Cartesio, then how will they behave once they get into destroying everything? The cruel method of Jughead's death also left everyone quite horrified, too.
That may be why it's no surprise the town's quiet unrest is slowly turning into real, tangible fury.
During the week, from time to time stones break some of the windows of the motel, looking outside shows a random passerby running away. Graffiti is left on the walls: 'SEE IF YOU LIKE THIS' 'MURDERERS' 'YOU'RE GOING TO DESTROY US ALL', and other similar messages. Some of the store owners hesitate when the visitors approach, but they don't refuse service because money is always nice.
The Sergeant's pervasive influence is starting to cover not only you, but also the entire town of Cartesio. After all, everything that's happening to you and the motel? It's the result of what you and the other visitors have done.
In the lobby of the motel there's a few more brochures, and
the maps have been updated once again.
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cartesianism2018-10-28 10:35 am
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It doesn't take long for Dazai to notice he's there.
And the something gets pushed into Oda's hands. It's a colorful combination of hyacinth and tulips.
...well then.]
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[ oda stands there, a blank look on his face as he continues to hold the flower bouquet. he doesn't understand it. what does this mean? why would dazai give him something like that?
and yet, he holds the flowers a little closer. if dazai's observation skills are as sharp as usual, then he should notice the light blush on his cheeks. ]
Thanks.
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...the store owner said they’re good flowers for an apology.
[Which means—]
So it doesn’t make any sense if you thank me for them. Accepting them is enough.
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[The fact that Dazai hadn’t thought that far ahead just reminds him how badly he’s been distracted. But it may as well be as good of a transition as he is going to get for the discussion he really wants to have.]
...Oda, I have a problem.
[It’s always serious when he’s not using Oda’s nickname.]
I think there’s something. Wrong with me.
[...yes, that is exactly how he’s choosing to word this bullshit. It’s how he feels though, okay?]
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[ oda stays silent, but it's obvious from his knit eyebrows that he's concerned over whatever dazai thinks is wrong with him.
it's not like odasaku doesn't understand. after all, he knows very well that dazai is not like anyone he's ever met before. he's lonely and stuck in this world of darkness, bored of everything around him. he's someone that calls--no, cries for help, but no one knows how to help him.
oda is no exception to this. that, he knows and hates himself for.
but he'll reach out to take dazai's hand anyways, holding it gently. ]
What's wrong?
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Stepping into this situation... perhaps from day one, something was different. Introduced to impossibilities from the start, he was forced to take steps down a path that in his reality, he never could have trod upon. A separate reality where there were things beyond his abilities to put together.
And it only developed the further he walked. Meetings that were impossible... conversations that were impossible... work, time--
Feelings.]
...I found it.
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but in this situation, stuck in this town...there's no way to run from it. ]
Found what, Dazai?
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[If it sounds silly to you, then you'd be correct. Admittedly Dazai barely knows how to describe it. It had never existed inside of him before. And what he has now is probably not the same as what belonged in that space inside of him, but it's filled it in regardless, in it's own way.]
I gave up chasing this phantom four years ago but now... the impossible has happened. I've found it. There's been this unsettling, unpleasant weight in my chest-- words that should come easily have not, and others that I have no business saying weren't meant the way I thought...
It's a complete disaster.
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he just wishes that he would go out and say it. ]
I don't understand. What are you trying to say?
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[When he slows down a narrows in on the topic, it's a lot more understandable. But that probably just makes it crazier, what he's saying.]
I've felt things. And good or bad it's always come back to... this realization. The thing that's been missing... that's connecting all these things I suddenly feel... I've found... something I want. Something to live for.