natalie "awkwardly cares" goodman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
robitussin) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
cartesianism2018-11-10 07:14 pm
robitussin) wrote in cartesianism2018-11-10 07:14 pm
week 6, post trial
[Their numbers keep falling. Three people have died already this week, with two more on the way tomorrow. With the outburst the townspeople gave them once the results came through... If anyone were feeling downhearted, it's to be expected at this point. Things continuing at their current pace is a frightening thought, after all. Like last week, the offer to spend time together or meet in a central location doesn't come.
Hawks and Dabi wait for the morning in their cells, but the rest of the tourists are free to wander about the town as they please; free to rest, to talk with each other, and to try to gather strength wherever they can. So, where does the evening find you, Cartesio?]
Hawks and Dabi wait for the morning in their cells, but the rest of the tourists are free to wander about the town as they please; free to rest, to talk with each other, and to try to gather strength wherever they can. So, where does the evening find you, Cartesio?]
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[Survival is important. But she'll fall silent as he actually reads, giving him time to absorb the content.]
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Starving to death isn't a fun experience, no.
[A beat.]
Neither is what happened to Dazai.
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[And here, she sighs.]
...I don't typically get involved unless I have to for myself. It's... not really my place to tell people what they should or shouldn't do with their lives unless they ask. But with Mr. Dazai, I forced him to eat that first day after the execution and told him to live long enough to help us.
[Her gaze goes up to the sky now, troubled.]
I think I probably meddled too much. Well, it isn't as though I can do anything about it now, either.
[It's just another reminder of her place in the world.]
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You meddled too much.
[That's a funny thought. If funny means something else entirely.]
The night before he was supposed to execute Olympia, I asked him to draw out her death so we could have more time to look inside the Lodge. [He's just going to sigh deeply.] Telling him to eat and try to stay alive a little longer.... that's what anyone who cared about Dazai would have done.
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Whether or not I cared about him doesn't factor into it.
[Because even if she did...]
It's not really my business in the first place what he decides to do - or any of you. The only time it becomes my business is if it directly affects me.
[It's accompanied by a frown.]
It can't be helped now, and it's not like it's the first time I meddled with something. It's just... [vexing.]
I overstepped bounds I probably shouldn't have, as a traveler. That's what I mean.
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...What does being a traveller have to do with any of this?
[As detached as Keith tends to feel from people as a general rule, this still manages to sound like bullshit.]
If your friend is acting like an idiot, you're supposed to yank 'em back on their feet. That's what you do.
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[The answer comes simply and immediately.]
It depends on each traveler, but for the most part, it's understood that we are only guests in the countries we visit. We might get to know the people there, and we might learn about the culture, but it isn't our place to try to say we know better than the people of the country. In some places... trying to do so will just get you killed.
[And seeing that once was enough to make her vow to never meet the same fate.]
Our relationships are temporary. So- even if we're friends, no, I don't think I'm the best person to tell anyone what they should or should not do with their lives unless they ask me first.
It shouldn't be up to someone who just plans to leave.
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So why'd you hold Natalie back from getting close to Olympia during that trial then. Was that a mistake too?
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I also think holding someone off from a split second choice is different from trying to tell someone what to do with their life.
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[But tomato, tohmato -- that's really not the point.]
I plan on leaving too. That doesn't mean I have to be a passive observer in everything that's going on here -- that doesn't make sense. This isn't some random town that you can bail on in three days; you've been here for a month and a half. Sometimes caring about people means you're going to interfere in their lives because they mean something to you and you want to keep them safe.
[There's a pause. Keith looks away from Kino and back towards Cosmo. He has no idea when the hell this trend of having to talk about bonds and friendship fucking started, but he kinda hates it intensely. He concludes in the most tsun way possible by talking through clenched teeth and scowling.]
That's just fucking normal.
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Is that so?
[She wouldn't know.]
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Have you seriously never had a friend before?
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There's people I grew fond of in the countries I visited, but I only ever got to know them for the three days. Even in my original country, most of the other kids preferred to tease me over my name.
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What's wrong with your name?
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[She actually looks... thoughtful.]
For a long time, I actually forgot what the name itself was. It wasn't until I got here that they reminded me what it was.
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[A beat.]
So what was your given name and how'd you end up picking Kino as the name you go by now?
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[A beautiful flower, indeed. But then, she looks away. Picking "Kino," huh...?]
The reason I left my country... is because a traveler named Kino came by. He stayed for three days and two nights, and taught me that adults weren't just people who underwent the operation to remove the "child" from their brains, and that it was possible to grow into one without being forced into a job you'd have to smile through. He told me he didn't really have a job or anything, but he still had fun, even though he was an adult. After hearing me sing, he even told me he thought I should become a singer.
It was all... unthinkable, in my country.
[She was the daughter of innkeepers. Becoming an innkeeper was her only path.]
When I decided to decline the operation to become an adult, my parents blamed him for interfering. They were going to let him go, as "reasonable adults," but I was going to be disposed of as my parents' failure. But before they could, he jumped in the way and took the knife meant for me.
Hermes was the one who convinced me to leave. I was so sure I would die like Kino did, but I felt a little proud that at least I would die as myself. Hermes, though... he had just been repaired by Kino that morning so they could leave. He saw what happened and told me that if I stayed, I would die... but that if I kicked away the stand and hopped on, I could survive.
I think you can guess which I chose.
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Keith takes a moment to take all of that in. A lot of it catches him off guard because it's as extreme as it is, but after the initial shock of it all starts to wear off a bit, he's left with a lot of concern for her. He doubts she'd appreciate it much, doubts she really needs it at this point. But whether she cares for it or not, its there.]
You know, Kino.
[Soft, contemplative. His earlier annoyance with the friend thing seems to have toned down significantly.]
You say that travelers aren't supposed to intervene in the lives of others. But where would you be if one hadn't intervened for you? You think this Kino was wrong?
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[It's not so much reluctant as it is thoughtful.]
It's just that... because of him, I made my decision. No matter what, I had to make sure I don't die.
I never want to just stand there while someone kills me again.
[It hadn't been an immediate resolution. Time passed, and she learned things, learned to fight. And once again someone tried to kill her, and at that moment-
That was when she stopped being Sakura for good. That was when she became Kino.]