week 6, post trial

[robitussin]

[Their numbers keep falling. Three people have died already this week, with two more on the way tomorrow. With the outburst the townspeople gave them once the results came through... If anyone were feeling downhearted, it's to be expected at this point. Things continuing at their current pace is a frightening thought, after all. Like last week, the offer to spend time together or meet in a central location doesn't come.

Hawks and Dabi wait for the morning in their cells, but the rest of the tourists are free to wander about the town as they please; free to rest, to talk with each other, and to try to gather strength wherever they can. So, where does the evening find you, Cartesio?]

Comments

[robitussin]

...Fair enough.

[But she continues on.]

You said during the trial that you asked him to help you. Right?

[icariot]

Yeah. I asked him on Tuesday after the Sergeant gave his spiel.

[robitussin]

[She's not surprised, but an added layer of tension in her expression as she continues.]

...Why? Did you think you couldn't do it alone?

[icariot]

[He looks down at the feather in his hand momentarily before meeting Natalie's eyes again]

I have all the proper skills to be deadly. That part is easy. [a pause] The actual event is much harder.... and Dabi has a lot more experience in that regard.

[robitussin]

[She can see the logic in it, but the sticking point, the thing that digs at her even once he provides that explanation...]

One of you could have lived.

[icariot]

But would it have been worth it?

[robitussin]

...What do you mean?

[icariot]

He was ready to go down with all of the blame, but I couldn't have lived with myself if I let him. [a focused breath, and then spoken softer] And I wasn't going to be able to let the Sergeant's threat stay unanswered, not when that would risk him as well.

[robitussin]

If that was the case, why not just not ask him in the first place? I... You say you needed his help, but there are people less used to fighting than you that managed it, right? Rose, Frasier, Franciscus...

[She isn't sure if that's a fair question, but the increased emotion in her voice as she takes a step forward might explain some of her insistence.]

[icariot]

[A semi amused huff] I don't know if I should take that as a comfort or an insult.

It's not a matter of ability to injure, like with them. [the hand not holding a feather runs through his hair, frustrated.] It's a matter of morals. I've spent nearly twenty years learning how to save people, and I can't just turn that off.

[The idea of not saving someone physically pains him. The only thing that tipped the scale was that Hawks values Dabi much more than Wayne.]

If he was on board, the stakes were that much higher, and together we were a lot more likely to succeed. [Hawks has always preformed his best under pressure.]

[robitussin]

You can say that it was about morals, but you did turn it off before you even spoke to him, because you'd decided already by then. You made that choice yourself. You... made a choice to endanger more people than you had to, even apart from that.

[Because, as her tone grows more frustrated, it's clear that her earlier statement wasn't quite accurate. One of them could have lived, yes, but her primary complaint, unpleasant as it is...]

You signed his death sentence, too. If you thought either of you would get away with it, you haven't been paying attention.

[icariot]

["We almost succeeded" and "you're a major reason we didn't" were on the tip of his tongue, a cruel set of remarks that even while getting increasingly angry he manages to bite back. Now isn't the time to get ahead of himself. It's not her fault they did what they did, and she's coming from a place he can relate to--he wishes Dabi could have survived without him, too. But that was never really an option.

He's still tense and angry when he answers, but he's working to smother it and be levelheaded.] Listen. As sharp as you are, I'm not sure you've been paying attention to everything around you. He's a villain, already wanted for murder back home. Many of them. He already has a signed death sentence back there, with no guarantee of safety. This hasn't stopped him before, from attempting murder in broad daylight. I asked if we could work together for several reasons. One is the idea of not saving someone else makes me sick. I could only get so far because one person's life didn't compare to his, [sorry wayne] and if we worked together there was more chance of us succeeding at trial.

[what do you do when everyone thinks you value flying and saving people, but it's actually saving people and one person in particular? apparently get people mad at you]

[robitussin]

Oh, I haven't been paying attention? That's the problem here? Bullshit. I knew all of that already, I knew... Who he was, what he'd done. The difference is that I was trying to help him. But you, you had to...

[The fury in her voice grows as she speaks those words, until it cracks, and it makes her expression shift as well. A moment ago, the anger might have disguised it, but now she looks exactly how she feels; lost, frightened, desperate. Young.]

You didn't save anyone.

[icariot]

Did you think you could reform him? That’s a really naive idea. You can’t just change someone’s nature because you disagree with it. I didn’t even have to actually ask for his help—just say I was ready to “be proactive.” That’s all it took.

[Hawks thought he had finally gotten past the hard part of this conversation. Once the yelling happened, maybe this would stop being so painful. Boy, was he wrong.

He feels like All Might just sucker punched him. He knows that. He knows he hasn’t managed to save anyone. It haunts him whenever his mind slows down from its default “too fast” speed.]

You think I don’t know that?!

[robitussin]

[From the expression on her face (like she’s been slapped) and the sudden silence, he might be able to guess that he’s hit something incredibly sore in her. Still, that means her response only grows in anger.]

...It would’ve been better than your alternative, if I did. Even if I were naive, I’m not a murderer, and I wouldn’t drag anyone else that I cared about into it if I were!

[icariot]

He’s already a murderer. Whether I joined him this week or not, he more than likely would have killed someone. He doesn’t want your reform! How can you say you care, if you don’t take what he wants into consideration?!

[His voice is growing increasingly scratchy. The anger wasn’t mixing well with his distress over the “not saving people” part.] I was trying to protect him! If I didn’t do somethin’, the Sergeant would have taken him away. I wasn’t about to risk that!

[robitussin]

If what he wants is going to get him killed, then I care about what he needs instead, and you don't get to tell me that's wrong!

[What he says last... Well, it's clear she wasn't expecting it or hadn't taken it into consideration, because she falls silent.]

[icariot]

If you think either one of us has any say in what he does, you’re even more naive than I thought.

[Hawks is well versed in speaking Dabi. He’s more likely to do the exact opposite just because you don’t want him to than to listen to advice like that.

The silence nearly rings, after all the raised voices. Hawks pulls his wings close to himself as he works to calm his heartbeat. That wasn’t something he had planned to say, not outloud and not where the villain could hear. It’s a very large deal if your most important thing has shifted so dramatically, and Dabi would realize.]

[robitussin]

...Trying to help someone when you don't know if you can is more heroic than anything you've done here.

[Somewhere, she always knew it wouldn't work - but that never meant any effort was a waste, she thinks.

Her tone is acidic, and with that said, she turns on her heel to leave unless he speaks again.]

[icariot]

[Hawks won’t reply— he knows his actions weren’t the most heroic. He’s very done trying to make Natalie realize how selfish she sounds as well. If she shoots any last looks at him, he’s still on the middle of the floor, his wings now cocooned around himself.]