week 5, post trial.

[robitussin]

[Another week draws to a close, but as more culprits are led away, something is different all the same. After this particular trial, perhaps it's not a surprise that there's no note or offer to meet in a specific place tonight. Can any of them say they have any energy or desire to do something like that at a time like this? The place they regrouped last Saturday evening stands there, burned nearly beyond recognition, and the townspeople look at them with the distrust that's been steadily building. Not to mention... Those are the least of the losses they've faced in the last few days.

Of course, even as so much changes day by day, the town remains, with plenty of places for people to go if they don't want to stay inside the motel. Where can you be found tonight?]

Comments

[marmoron]

["Hardware store" she says, but Keith stays where he is.]

We're not doing anywhere until you take that apology back.

[robitussin]

[There's a pause, but... Well, stubborn as she is:]

Then I guess we're not going anywhere. Your call.

[marmoron]

[She's getting a Look. And also he's still not budging.]

Are we really doing this?

[robitussin]

I'm not doing anything. You're the one who's just making us stand here. I'm ready to go whenever you are.

[...So, yes.]

[marmoron]

....

[Good thing they're not both stubborn as hell. Otherwise there would just be a staring contest going on.

Lord help them.]

Seriously?

[robitussin]

I meant it, so I’m not taking it back.

[And that’s how they just stayed in this shed all night.]

[marmoron]

[There's about a good half a minute of silent staring and the only reason it doesn't go on longer than that is because Keith doesn't want to maintain eye contact. That and they don't have time for this.]

What if I said please.

[robitussin]

Saying please isn't going to make me not mean it, and I'm not going to take it back if I mean it, okay?

[She sighs, exasperated.]

Look, if you're going to stick to the whole not leaving until I take it back thing, then I'll go. What do you want me to get you?

[marmoron]

[Incredibly enough, it's the first time Keith's had to deal with someone who's as bullheaded as he is, and not for the first time while talking to Natalie, he's caught wondering if this is the effect he has on others. He doesn't really know what to do with that thought, but he does sigh and moves away from the door.]

No, let's just... go.

[robitussin]

Okay.

[But as she starts walking and her irritation starts to fade... If things do go poorly, then she doesn't want the last note to be like this. With a sigh:]

I'm tired of running out of time to tell people what I'm really thinking. That's all.

[marmoron]

[He wasn't expecting an explanation, wasn't going to ask for one and was fully prepared to just continue onto the hardware store like the past two minutes were as irrelevant as they ultimately were. Not necessarily gracefully mind you, but his expression does soften a little as they walk.]

So what else are you thinking then? Get it all out.

[A beat.]

If you want.

[robitussin]

...I just went. It's your turn.

[#logic]

[marmoron]

[Matter-of-fact:]

I'm thinking acting like we're both going to die tomorrow is bad for morale.

[robitussin]

I'm not acting like we're...

[She sighs, running a hand through her hair.]

Look, I just want to be prepared for anything, okay?

[And she's also pretty pessimistic, which is probably the more important thing here.]

[marmoron]

[After a moment he's sighing, too. Doesn't slow or stop walking, but his tone's softened even further.]

I'm also thinking I'd rather not think about losing someone else.

[robitussin]

[That hits her in a way she doesn't expect; she hadn't considered that side of it, and it's nearly enough to make her pause in her step for a moment. Still, even if she misses a beat, she answers before too much time has paused.]

...You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just - thinking I'm worried.

[But not enough to not do this.]

[marmoron]

[There's a bit of hesitation before he replies. Looking at her, his voice is a little flat, tired.]

Don't. I'll protect you.

[A beat.]

Is what I would say, but I'm thinking you'd resent that.

[He looks away. The sentiment didn't do much to save Cian either.]

[robitussin]

You're learning.

[She means it as a joke, but it falls flat.]

[marmoron]

Getting there, I guess.

[Still distant now that's he's thinking about Cian and Millium again.]

[robitussin]

...You're thinking something else.

[It's quiet, not pushing.]

[marmoron]

[There's a small pause, then:]

I thought this was about you getting things off yor chest.

[Sounds a bit too flat to be defensive.]

[robitussin]

...I'm thinking that I want to know what you're thinking, unless you don't want to talk about it.

[marmoron]

[Well she's right to think he doesn't really want to talk about Millium and Cian. It just... hurts and there's nothing else to that sentiment other than getting lost in a vortex of feeling sorry for yourself when they have so much left to do. So much to try and piece together. Why acknowledge how terrible you feel when you can just engage in risky behavior in a desperate attempt to make things stop hurting?

What is easier to express, however, is anger and there's plenty of that to go around. After a moment, he obliges with an honest response.]

I can't believe being what I am matters so damn much.

[The words are bitterer than he intended. Olympia's words still make him sick to his stomach. You're an alien pretending to be human. It shouldn't get to him, but she hit a real bulls-eye here.]

[robitussin]

[There's a small pause at that. There are a few things he could be referring to, and before she responds, she wants to be sure she's not misinterpreting anything.]

What do you mean?

[marmoron]

It shouldn't -- [A hard stop mid-sentence. Keith breathes out and looks down and away. When he speaks again, the bitterness is under better check, but the reluctance to talk is obvious.] It doesn't bother me.

It's just ... I've never connected with people easily. Everyone else did that so easily -- smile, make friends, all that. When I found out I was part Galra, I thought.. maybe that was part of the reason why I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. Maybe I just wasn't supposed to, y'know? Not human, not Galra. For a little while, the other paladins kept looking at me like I was just... an alien pretending to be human, like I'd been living some lie this entire time.

[He pauses, looking directly at Natalie.]

Don't get me wrong. I know it's stupid. I know it doesn't matter if I'm human or Galra or whatever. I'm me and that's all there is to it. Just wasn't expecting to be hated for that here is all.