week 4 afterparty

[odasaku]

[ well, that was definitely A Trial.

however, oda understands that everyone must be feeling a little heavy, considering the death of someone like jughead and whatever bullshit dazai said earlier.

so, at everyone's door is a note that says the following:

If you don't want to be alone, come to the diner.

There's food.

oda himself is at the diner, although there's no food on his table, nor is he being a very good host of a party. he's just sitting alone at a table next to a window, staring out of it in deep thought. ]

Comments

[pursuitofdeath]

[Fear not-- you don't have to worry about Dazai ruining your festivities. He avoids the diner completely-- but then. He won't be going back to the room he's been staying in either so he probably wouldn't even know they're there.

...no, he's taken up a spot in a tree near the pond.

It would probably be difficult to find him. For a change, he's silent. No stupid songs or the like. Just dead silence as he stares out at an empty spot in the water.

...but if you really want to you can find him.]

[doublelammy]

[Well, someone wants to.

It takes some effort to track Dazai down. He certainly doesn't make it easy. But then again, this is exactly what she's been trained in. Spotting the little things that no one wants her to.

When she finds him, she stands at the base of the tree behind him for a moment, trying to decide what to say.

Ultimately, she decides on nothing at all. Instead, she simply climbs up the tree as well, finding a sturdy enough branch nearby to nestle herself in.]

[odasaku]

[ oda doesn't expect dazai to come. perhaps that's why he was thinking so much in the diner. about what happened and about what dazai had told him once the results were given. they definitely didn't make oda feel any better about the fact that two more people were going to die here but...

he doesn't think that dazai should be alone. that's for certain.

so when he sees millium begin to track dazai, he quietly goes after her until, well, they're both there. and while he's not going to climb up the tree like she is, oda will stay looking up at him. ]

It's cold. You're gonna get sick.

[pursuitofdeath]

[His troubles always do seem to find him. It’s not that he doesn’t want to see them as much as— he doesn’t know how to face them. What he should say— what to do going forward— he has a lot to think about and not much in the means of progress has been made. But ignoring it won’t make it go away... it won’t make the two people who’ve tracked him down go away either.

So he has to come up with something.]

I like to think I take better care of myself than all that.

[It’s words that sound like he should laugh with them— but he doesn’t.]

[doublelammy]

...Oh. Hiya, Oda.

[Normally she's better about noticing she's being followed, but... well. If it's Oda, that's fine. That's who she's here for, anyway.]

Not well enough t'not hang out in weird trees when it's cold n' late, apparently.

[She's not laughing, either, although that's... mostly teasing. Mostly.]

How long were you plannin' on staying out here?

[pursuitofdeath]

Oh... I don’t know.

[Well it’s not a lie. But it’s not a very good answer either.]

I thought maybe it would be better for a little while. I seems I have some thinking I should do.

[Boy if things don’t feel really complicated right now.]

[odasaku]

You can think where it's warm.

[ there's slight concern in oda's expression....which means he is very concerned. ]

I'm not leaving without you.

[pursuitofdeath]

You...

[What argument does he even have for that?]

You’re incredibly difficult, you know that? You should know better than to worry about me.

[doublelammy]

...Goddess, both of you.

[Millium sighs loudly from her spot in the tree, folding her arms.]

Can you two quit talkin' circles around each other for two seconds? Yeah, sure, Oda, he can think where it's warm, and I'd rather be somewhere warm, too, but that's not gonna fix anything. He'll be just as mopey in a warm place.

So. Dazai. What is it you're thinkin' about? 'Cause if it's us, you'd be a lot better off just speakin' up. We're right here.

[odasaku]

[ oda will continue looking up at him, expectantly. look at his face, dazai. please don’t disappoint that big puppy dog look that oda has right now. ]

[pursuitofdeath]

[...Dazai sighs. He’s completely disarmed when it comes to these two.]

...then let’s take this inside.

[If it doesn’t matter where it happens then he doesn’t want to get either of them sick. It will also give him a moment to collect his thoughts while they change locations.]

[doublelammy]

Works for me.

[And with that said, she hops down from the tree.

Maybe not the best idea in the world, but she does nail the landing, and seems perfectly fine upon standing up. JRPG acrobatics, man.]

[pursuitofdeath]

[He follows her down— hopping down without ever taking his hands out of his pockets.

Now they can travel.]

[quickpersuader]

[It might be time to dump more rocks in the pond, Kino thinks. But then she spots Dazai and, well, it wasn't much of a plan anyway. We have time to spare for this.

She won't climb after Dazai, but she will chat from below:]

...Come to think of it, I had a question for you.

[pursuitofdeath]

[Kino.... Dazai hums and manages a small smile.]

Oh? Well if it’s something I can answer, I will.

[quickpersuader]

[Kino gives a nod. And then:]

What do you mean when you say you're "saving" people?

[pursuitofdeath]

That was... what I was asked to do. When Odasaku died, that was his request. I didn’t know anything about helping people so it was... difficult. But that was why I joined the Armed Detective Agency. They... take requests from the government and military that are beyond their means and they solve them— whether it’s cases for investigation... threats to public safety... or escorting important individuals that require protection. Our goal is to help people.

[This is probably more words than he’s devoted to it in a long time but. There it is.]

[quickpersuader]

So then... to you, saving people is just helping them?

[It's a genuine question. Trying to seek out an answer.]

[pursuitofdeath]

In my work, that’s the definition. We prevent unnecessary deaths.

[...]

But unlike some of my colleagues I happen to think there are people that cannot be saved in life.

[People... like himself.]

[quickpersuader]

You don't think anyone can help you... With what, exactly?

[pursuitofdeath]

...me?

[Dazai blinks.]

I’ve been told that I will never find anything that could possibly fill the void inside of myself. And yet I’ve tried. But it’s useless for me. I’ve never been able to change. So I’ve accepted that void as part of myself. And I do my best to live with it.

[quickpersuader]

[Uh-huh...]

So... the only people who can be saved are those without a "void" inside.

[pursuitofdeath]

...maybe there are people who can find something to fill it and be happy. But— I wouldn’t know anything about that.

[quickpersuader]

[Dazai, this keeps shifting...]

Then those who can't be saved are those who can't find happiness?

[pursuitofdeath]

[...]

...that’s my truth, at least.