natalie "awkwardly cares" goodman (
robitussin) wrote in
cartesianism2018-11-10 07:14 pm
week 6, post trial
[Their numbers keep falling. Three people have died already this week, with two more on the way tomorrow. With the outburst the townspeople gave them once the results came through... If anyone were feeling downhearted, it's to be expected at this point. Things continuing at their current pace is a frightening thought, after all. Like last week, the offer to spend time together or meet in a central location doesn't come.
Hawks and Dabi wait for the morning in their cells, but the rest of the tourists are free to wander about the town as they please; free to rest, to talk with each other, and to try to gather strength wherever they can. So, where does the evening find you, Cartesio?]
Hawks and Dabi wait for the morning in their cells, but the rest of the tourists are free to wander about the town as they please; free to rest, to talk with each other, and to try to gather strength wherever they can. So, where does the evening find you, Cartesio?]

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[Once he agrees, she takes a seat, but then there's a notable pause before she says anything. What she says, too, is not exactly helpful.]
So, um...
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....yeah?
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[They're so good at this.]
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Okay.
[A breath.]
I'm sorry I made it awkward.
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No, you didn't. I... shouldn't have reacted like that, probably.
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...How should you have reacted then?
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I shouldn't have immediately yelled "what", for starters. That probably wasn't the best.
[She runs a hand through her hair.]
Look, I...
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Look.
[Bad start, bad tone. Trying again in a softer tone as he glances cautiously in her direction.]
It's fine. Really.
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[She hesitates again. What finally pushes the words out of her mouth is the remembrance of the relief she felt when she woke up in the morning and found him safe, the fear she felt when she entered the courtroom and saw him on the suspect list.
There's another breath, but:]
I feel the same, okay? That's all.
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..Seriously?
[That slips out before he can get his mind back in working orde and the pleasant surprise in his tone sounds stupid in his ears. Keith clears his throat.]
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I wouldn't lie about something like that.
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It is not a foolproof plan.]
I- I didn't think you would lie about... [Where's this train of thought going? Nowhere it's going fucking nowhere. He's just putting his foot in his mouth.] I mean...
[Time to look away, see if that helps.]
Sorry. I just... didn't think you would.
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[She has an idea of what is important, but that doesn't make it easier to vocalize.]
I don't, um... Know where we go from here.
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[He stops, realizing the rest of that sentence is deeply embarrassing. He keeps his eyes focused on Cosmo for a moment, trying to get a grip on himself. It's tenuous at best, but when he speaks again it's at least calmer sounding.]
I don't know where to go either. There wasn't... really a whole lot of time for this kind of thing back home and...I guess I've never thought about it.
[Risking a glance:]
Help?
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If you knew how my last relationship ended, you would not be asking me for help with this.
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So how'd it end?
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...A lot of stuff happened with my family and I did something really stupid because of it, and he knew about the really stupid stuff I did, so I just... stopped talking to him.
[There's more to it than that, of course, but that's the simplest explanation.]
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The thought is immensely sobering and it gets the smile to fade gradually as he just starts looking thoughtful again.]
Must've been a difficult time for you. I think I get it.
[He's not going to say 'sorry' or anything like that, but after a moment he will look down at her hand and very slowly put his hand over hers.]
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[That being said, she doesn't move her hand away. She shifts to lock her fingers through his after a moment.]
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He looks up at her, if only because looking at their hands is now too odd to stomach. She gets a quiet, nervous laugh after a moment.]
I've met a lot of assholes. Trust me, you aren't one of them. I know how it is to feel so ashamed of yourself that you start pushing everyone away. I had to learn not to do that...and I guess I'm still learning not to do that.
It's hard though and maybe you shouldn't be beating yourself up for something you're trying to change.
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...I think you might be way too forgiving.
[She sounds thoughtful rather than contrary, though.]
I'm also pretty sure you don't have anything to be ashamed of.
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...First time I've heard that.
[It's funny, in a way. He doesn't know where to even begin with how wrong she is on that one... and maybe he still can;t really bring himself to talk about it because if he hasn't been able to look at himself the same way again because of it, then neither will anyone else.]
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What is it?
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[Well, it's not nothing, but the right word for it is eluding him. He shakes his head.]
I messed really badly right before I woke up here. I don't know if they'll forgive me for it.
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[A second or two passes, before she amends that.]
...If you want to talk about it.
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