WEEK 1: April 2nd - April 6th

[cartesio]

Peace Week

Sunday must have been exhausting for you, maybe even upsetting. A new town, new faces and a an ominous order from a man without a face... who wouldn't be a little frightened? Hopefully, all of that is forgotten when you climb out from under your blankets this fine Monday. Rise and shine! A new morning is a new start!

If you make your way to the lounge, you will find a few copies of the local newspaper provided for your perusal. Once you go outdoors, you'll find the weather forecast 100% accurate. It's pretty impressive.

It seems that quiet mornings like this are going to be your everyday life now. Maybe you should see this whole stay as a vacation? Go out and explore the town, meet your fellow motel guests and meet the townspeople. They're sure to welcome you with a smile!

This week's special in the diner is lemon pie made with love (and a top-secret recipe)

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[Welcome to the peace week! This week there won't be a murder nor a task. Enjoy the peace while it lasts! If you want to contact the Sergeant, please post here!]

Comments

millium's wednesday of woe

[doublelammy]

[diner]

[Millium is here, and there's a slice of pie that sits uneaten at her spot from yesterday.

Millium herself is standing in front of the jukebox, rapidly swiping her card and entering something quickly. She does this for a solid two to three minutes, before returning to her seat with a cheery smile on her face.

Any other residents of the diner will be greeted with the following for roughly the next half an hour:

♪♫♬WOMP WOMP WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT, OH-OH-OH-OH-OH♪♫♬

At first, it might just seem that this song is really long. Way longer than anyone who knows it will remember. But after the first three repetitions, it's likely other patrons will catch on to precisely what she's done.

After that, the song will finally, finally change.

♪♫♬It's not unusual to be loved by anyone...♪♫♬

And there might be some sighs of relief throughout the diner. It's a peaceful little interlude, a nice upbeat break from the aggressive what's new of the pussycat.

Unfortunately, a break is all it is. Because after it fades out...

♪♫♬WOMP WOMP WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT, OH-OH-OH-OH-OH♪♫♬

Millium Orion could not be any prouder of herself if she tried. Thanks for asking.]

[saladandeggs]

...”What’s New, Pussycat” is a lot longer than I first thought. It has something of a...dip in the middle, as well.

[Frasier muses to himself.

After three repetitions, his head is in his hands and he’s crying.]

[doublelammy]

[Aww... she didn't mean to make the guy cry.

...Okay, it is pretty funny, though. So after taking a moment to snicker, she goes up to the counter and requests something.

If Frasier ever lifts his head, he'll find a slice of lemon pie in front of him, alongside a paper shark.

Written on the paper shark, in nearly-illegible childish scrawl:

"there's more where that came from ☺"]

[saladandeggs]

...Well, at - at least they’re a good sport about it.

[He doesn’t notice her, but is gladly eating that lemon pie...before crying into it when the song starts back up again.]

[protectandselfserve]

[Oh. Oh, this is hilarious, even if it's a little mind-numbing. But, well, he's gotten pretty good at tuning things out over the years, so he's able to eat his burger-minus-noodles with no real reaction, other than an amused smile...

...at least until It's Not Unusual kicks in. He has to wonder, so he puts the burger down and waits...

...

And when What's New Pussycat comes back in, he begins laughing uproariously and applauding.]

[doublelammy]

[Most normal people would not cheerfully reveal themselves as the instigator of all this if they ever want to be allowed back into the diner. Which Millium does, given how much of their pie she's eaten.

But Millium is not a normal person, nor is she a person with common sense. And so, in response to Gant's laughter, she beams in his general direction and sticks her arm straight in the air to offer a cheery wave, swinging her legs cheerfully from her seat in her booth.

You're welcome~!]

[protectandselfserve]

[Well, Gant may be a cop, but in this sort of situation (i.e. one he finds extremely funny) he's no narc, so he gives her a conspiratorial wink and a thumbs up.]

[doublelammy]

[Well, with that little bit of acknowledgement, Millium plucks her pie plate off of her table and goes and plops herself and her pie across from Gant.

Stranger danger is not a thing to her. Also, she may be worryingly used to strong, square-jawed, self-serving men in positions of power. Just saying.]

Hi! I don't think I've met you yet.

[protectandselfserve]

[Well, hey, he's probably not going to bite. Just blame her for murder at some point maybe.]

I don't believe I've met you either, out of a vague sense that you're also "vacationing" here! Gant's the name. Damon Gant.

[doublelammy]

[That's fair, she'd do the same to him.]

Millium Orion! It's nice t'meetcha.

...Or, well. It would be if this weren't basically the worst "vacation" ever. But, you know!

[odasaku]

[ oda's pretty calm about it as he eats his lunch. he probably notices that the song is repeating by the third time it plays.

when the song changes, oda glances around curiously, before returning to his food. maybe the person left or--

or not! because when what's new pussycat begins to play again, oda can't help but snicker into his food as he listens to the song again. ]

[doublelammy]

[Over by the jukebox, Millium is sitting with her pie, swaying back and forth in her seat happily and humming along.

How on earth she's a spy when she's this terrible at being sneaky is truly a wonder.]

[odasaku]

[ she's terrible, but that's fine. oda's not angry at all-- if anything, he finds it endearing.

but when he's done with his food, he stands up, walking over to millium ]

You must like that song a lot.

[doublelammy]

Ehehe. It's fun, isn't it? It's so happy.

[...]

And everyone else is getting so mad. It's the best.

[odasaku]

That's not very nice, Millium.

[ he sounds stern, but not angry at all. ]

If you do it like that, then you're bullying them.

[robitussin]

[It takes a few minutes for Natalie to realize that the song is just repeating... And repeating, and repeating. Once she realizes it doesn't seem to be stopping any time soon, she frowns and makes her way over to the jukebox itself.

She spends at least several minutes desperately entering her card and trying to select different songs, before she realizes that it's not going to work until the current selections are done. As such, Millium gets the pleasure of seeing her gradual descent into despair as she starts bumping her forehead into the metal of the machine continuously, muttering:]

Why, why, why...

[doublelammy]

[Pleasure, indeed.

Millium's not even remotely trying to hide her satisfaction, arms folded over the back of her seat in the booth and flopping her head into those arms contentedly, watching Natalie's suffering with a smile.

Poor, poor Natalie, the only one in this town with any real understanding of what a creepy child Millium can be.]

'Cause I get to watch you people go nuts. Also, I like this song.

[robitussin]

[She turns towards Millium as she speaks, and then gives a heavy sigh, much more dramatic than it needs to be.]

Of course it was you. Also, you have awful taste, congratulations.

[doublelammy]

Or maybe you just need to lighten up a little.

[Natalie can't really get her down now. Not when Millium is so fully aware she's won.]

[robitussin]

Yeah, sure. Please know that my revenge will be swift and brutal.

[Somehow.]

[duckrotation]

[Don't mind Rose sitting at a booth that's as close to the jukebox as can be in the diner.]

You know, the last time I heard this song was at a funeral- Not a funeral for a human though, it was for a worm. His name was Spock... And he was the love of my life.

[doublelammy]

[Don't mind if Millium scurries over to the booth to slide in across from Rose, either. She loves story time.]

The love of your life was a worm? [That... doesn't sound as disbelieving as it should.] What was he like?

[duckrotation]

Not my actual love of my life. I used to have a husband. [BUT THAT'S A STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY. AND NOT A TOTALLY FUN ONE.]

He was a pet of mine! Very talented. He knew how to fetch and give paw! Never learned how to play piano, although I tried my hardest to teach him.

[Instead that trick was learned by the one off episode chicken.]

Have you ever had a pet, dear?

[doublelammy]

Oh, okay. [Millium doesn't question the "used to." She understands the implication well enough. And, well, people die or get divorced all the time, that's just the way the world works.

It's unfortunate that she's never really learned how to offer condolences, because she just skips that part, too.]

Oh! That makes more sense... no, I haven't had a pet. I wouldn't be around enough to take care of it, it'd be way too dangerous to send it out on missions with me n' Lammy, and Gramps, Claire, and Lechter are all way too busy to help take care o' something like that.

It'd be nice, though.

[Pause. Paws?]

Wait, hang on, how did a worm give paw? Worms don't have those, do they?

[duckrotation]

If you don't mind me asking, who's this Lammy fellow?

[All the other names sound normal to her, but Lammy sounds like something you'd name a dog. And Millium mentioned that she doesn't have any pets, so what or who are they?

But to answer her other question:]

And, no, worms don't have paws. That would be silly! It was more like placing its tail on my finger- or head, as it's quite hard for me to tell the difference actually!